For me
personally, this year was one in which I re-learnt that time is
irrelevant. That life is such a
precious gift we take for granted until suddenly we are asked within a split
second, to fight for it if we want to hold on to it. That my husband and children
give me always-unconditional love for the person I am. That my friends although
they might be few, they are truly worth their weight in gold. That my dreams
are also important. That I can be heard.
That I have a place here.
Rather simple
sentences but monstrous re-connections to understanding that I, as with each of
us, have a purpose here to live and it is good so. It is how we view the world we re-act within that creates
our ability to deal with the emotions it rises up inside us.
The earth is like
an emotional kindergarten full of small humans busting their britches to be
heard, seen and followed. All feel they know this or that from another whom was
shown it by another whom got the information from another whom is in contact
with the “big source”. Each is bursting with energy to make its happiness,
sadness, anger, fear, irritation or relevant emotion both known and taken on,
as the ticket to understanding the world we live in, by every other child in
the playground. So fists fly, words are spat out, hair is pulled, feet are
stomped upon and groups are made which either invite you in or bar you out.
Life becomes a roller coaster ride each and every day. You are able to try out
which ride pleases you and jump onto another carrousel when one emotion goes
into overdrive.
It is how you
handle these emotions that is the key to stepping out of the tug-of-war within,
to see the beauty of what each of us is given yet missing when we sit tight on
one emotional stand only.
A new canvas upon
which you can splash all the colours of the rainbow and create a picture to be
wrapt up within is not created only from one viewpoint. It is an accumulation
of what you have lived through, seen, felt and experienced. The composition is
your own personal record of this. The colours chosen relate to the layers of
emotions you had at the time. Each supporting or breaking another apart yet working
still together for a united goal. To provide a supportive and loving overall
scene into which you are able to breath. To sit down in. To find refuge within.
To gather strength from.
Yesterday several
small events reminded me of this. As I was paying for my petrol, the woman
before me turned around as she was leaving and pressed a coupon in my hand for
a 3% reduction on my bill. After paying I saw she was still in the station and
walked up to her to say thank you and wish her a lovely new year. She seemed
shyly touched yet she had given me something first. As I was going down in a
lift in a shopping mall it jolted and stood still for a few seconds before
continuing. I grabbed the railing beside me and swallowed. A couple who looked
as if riding Harleys were part of their life style asked me was I ok. I shared
that I was stuck alone for a day and a half in a lift as a child, due to an earthquake
in New Zealand and the experience sat deep within my bones. They both gave me
such a loving smile I could feel the tensions releasing within me as the man
stated, “well that I can empathize with but if it was happening this time, we
are here too with you”. Later while grocery shopping we passed each other again
and we exchanged deeply felt smiles as if we had already gone through a doorway
of pain and survived. They had changed my memory to one of being protected just
by stating the would be there if it happened again. As I was looking for a
bottle on a shelf in which a lot of people where blocking access to, as it
stood in front of the return section; I noticed one person waiting patiently in
the trolley seat. The little angel was holding out her arms to me and laughing.
The mother seemed annoyed by this and told her to sit still and put her arms
down. The little poppet’s head though followed my path and I waved to her and
she burst into a grin so big it lit up the room. I had just received a dosage
of unconditional love from one soul to another. There was something in the air
in that moment and it was magical.
These small
moments within my day are the emotional interactions I have with all the other
souls who cross my pathway on the canvas I am creating. I splash love,
acceptance, compassion and joy upon the scene I am in and allow others to see
the composition created and re-act towards it as they wish. I ask not that they
take on my emotional stand but give them the space to live out theirs in the awareness
that it will be accepted, embraced and seen on all levels.
So my crossover
from one period of time into another this year is with a thankful heart for my
life. For being able to live and share it on various levels; with other souls.
For seeing that pain, disappointment or worry need not be the emotional crutches,
which I need to live. They are only the outer coatings of paint that enclose a
deeper layer of work being created in the heart of my life.
My life mantra is
“go with the flow”. For life is an endless process of movement towards
something unknown. Sometimes taking me around corners or into still pools that
seem to be “the end” yet are really only a breathing space before the next
current catches me and I am once again moving. The speed or depths to which I
move are part of the process but not the main section. That I trust is.
2014 has for me has the following affirmation:
As I now release 2013 to my past and open the doorway
into my future in 2014 I am a compassionate being of light, love and awareness.
Knowing that I will flow with the current that takes me to higher levels of
understanding of who I am, why I am here and how I can allow these to evolve;
for the highest good of myself and those whom I interact with. I will allow my
emotions to be impulses to creating a wondrous film, in which I play a part but
those who pass through are also valued and welcome. Life is good and I step
into its energy with joy.
This new year is my year.
Koruswhispers