What has happened to “open your eyes” recently? What
makes you suddenly realize your on a totally different pathway or wave length
than you where last year, two years ago or ten? Is it that you do not have the
same friends or that you have changed your complete wardrobe. Perhaps you have
taken on new eating habits or that you answer questions about yourself from a
different stand than before? I feel that I experience change in a combination
of both small and monstrous moments that open my eyes to what has moved within
me or is perhaps about to. It could be as here in the above photo, when I
noticed I pictured myself in a "new frame work" as a Qigong Yangsheng
teacher, stepping into a new chapter of my life.
Change is often like a chameleon that disguises its
self in such a manner, that until we see it has turned into a new colour, we do
not even realize there is a difference in our lives, our actions, our thoughts
or environment. We have been so used to our mindset that not until we are
confronted, with a need to pull upon our resources in an unexpected situation,
do we perhaps see we wish to handle the moment in a completely new manner. Then
we ask ourselves how did that come about. When did we suddenly not be so
judging or forceful in our views? What "opened our eyes" to seeing
ourselves as well as those we live with differently?
Perhaps the change has slowly been taking shape as we
race through life gathering "this and that" (slimmed down figure from
a gym work out, new haircut to freshen up our look, new wardrobe to help
conceal our aging body) which we believe will renew our present situation.
These are the superficial changes only. Change can suddenly stand
there in front of us unexpectedly. It can
creep up upon you like a thief in the night giving you a hell of a fright. You are asked
to except a new "shade of thought" due to an abrupt end of a life
cycle as in a death of a family member or friend. Or it is sneaky and weaves a web, slowly and with care so
when you realize something is different you are not quiet sure what! You
are pushed into being someone else. Showing us to be wearing a new "set of
clothes", as we take on a new dimension of acceptance with our age. The
world is in a constant change. We are pulled along with new ideas; told to
believe and undertake new ways, as the circumstances
that cause the change around us, move something within us.
Yet these are not the eyes opening changes I refer to. The real changes
are those we personally mentally undertake. They require us to go down to the
foundation of our being and re-build. The realization that you are
responsible forever decision you make. With this fact comes the truth that you
are capable of making decisions for yourself. Then follows your acting upon
your action, with a confidence you stand exactly where you should be. It is our
"coming of age" which has no specific time or age barrier. It can
occur several times in a life time or once only. It is the awareness that you
and you alone, are the creator of your world. It is a spark that is ignited by
a moment you can recall with extreme clarity.
"I was seven years old. It was my first night
alone at boarding school and I was totally lost. I had not yet come to grasps
with the situation, that I was now to be living permanently miles from my
parents, in a school that held me within its walls, day and night. Why did my
parents suddenly want to give me up I cried inside me? Why could I not stay at
home, learning school by correspondence? Why here? The room was in an old
English villa. Bunk beds stood in rows, side by side. A storm raged outside on
the grounds battering everything in its path. An old walnut trees branches
where being bent down by the wind, hitting upon the windowpanes, scratching to
get in. I lay in my bed with the blankets pulled tightly up to my chin, softly
crying. I just knew it was really witches fingers that pulled at the door
latch, willing it to open. Her scream was to be heard outside on the cusp of
the wind and cackling throw the creaking of the old wooden walls behind my bed
head. Suddenly she stood there before me. Hair net pulled over the few stray
hairs that still clung desperately to a balding scalp. Her nose was so long, it
reached like a hook under the blanket which my hands where trying hard to pull
tighter around me. Her bony hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder with an iron
grip, as she shook me till my teeth chattered. Her breath smelt of something
rotten, coming in hot spurts as she said low and menacing; "Be quite now
little girl. No one, ever, cries here. You will now be silent or else". My
eyes where abruptly opened to the horrors of being left here in the witches
lair, to be tortured for eternity." (An extract, out of my work in
progress: "Memories of being once small")
This was my first experience, of the caring and loving
environment of the Anglican Church of England all girls boarding school, into
which my upbringing had been given. It reads like a horror tale. It has forty
years after the event, still the same effect in my minds eye. It changed me
instantly. I knew here, crying was not tolerated. Here, I was not to be heard.
Here, I would not be given love. It changed me instantly, into planning how I
was going to get over or through this new nightmare I had walked into, wide
awake. It affected me to my inner core. I became iron strong in mind and body.
I learnt to rely only upon myself for comfort or help. My change formed a
foundation so set, that I had to learn to soften it and rebuild it years later;
so as to once again go forward in life.
Perhaps the connections we have over the social media
definitely ignite or help to foster the desire to change and redefine who we
are. As well they are also a means of connecting to a maze of fascinating,
loving souls we are prepared to share on a personal level their desires, wishes
and hopes for change. This is why I write. This is the reason for my sharing.
My words could help you form an idea, have an impulse to react, create a
movement. Perhaps I might play a small role in what was perhaps once, a hoped
for change in your life, allowing it to become a reality, as you feel the
universe supporting you through pictures, poems, statements or affirmations
from your "human social media family".
While change is the hand, that takes the key of chance
and places it in the lock of awareness, so you are the player of your own tune,
when you step through the doorway of new possibilities.
Your Korus
Photo: taken by Birgit-Cathrin Duval /
bcmpress