
We have all heard so often said “think before you speak” or “be careful
what you say for it bite come back to bite you one day” but do we actually take
the advice of these colloquialisms when opening our mouth to exercise our vocal
chords? We live in a form of emotional kindergarten here on earth, stumbling
around giving punches and pulls to all we met, in the way of tit and tat. What
we think needs not to be spat out straight away but rather acknowledged and
thought over before allowing it to rule our day! Watch out what words you let
out as air through your lips, they could slap you in the face if you do not
take care. I learnt this the hard way.
As I was small I remember adults telling me how to speak in the manner
they seemed to be always going on about as the appropriate way. What I
could not say, should not say but giving very little explanations on the
reasons why. Even though I would ask over and over again they gave off a sharp
“because that is just how it is” answer. This brought up the reaction within me
of not needing to take notice, if they could not verify why. So I continued to
land myself in the hot frying pan by stating how I saw the world in often
rather blunt terms. I found no need to honey coat the facts as I saw them.
No one was doing that for me either.
In my early religious lessons, as I was told the story of Adam and Eve,
I remember clearly stating that she was probably starving and needed the sugar
from the apple to help her keep running around the garden of Eden to find
something good to eat. I did not see her as being naughty. I was told not
to be blasphemous. I was seven. I thought she was hungry and needed some
food that was all.
I told often my parents friends when they visited and complained of
life’s injustices that I agreed with them for “it is a shit” and could never
understand why my mother said she would wash my mouth out with soap if I said
the “s” word once again. I got even a worse reaction when I stated but you are
all saying it stinks all the time so it must be shit. I lost my privilege of
having the radio to myself on Sunday morning, to listen to the children’s story
time. I was nine. I thought this was a term for having a stroke of bad luck
that was all.
When I was an exchange student my girlfriends where discussing their
brothers antics of tricking their parents into thinking he was home by
curfew. I stated he must have something “lushly growing on the side” for
the need to be so dishonest. They thought I was referring to his in some way
handling drugs because of his once smoking hash. They felt highly
offended that I would think he could be growing the stuff. I was sixteen. I
thought he was just into sexual experimentation that was all.
Youthful examples of misunderstandings because of terms used, which were
received in another context than given. I thought one thing and those hearing
understood it to be another. This has continued also into my adult life but at
least through trail and error I began to see a way of packaging what I thought
into a softer version of my truth.
I need not tell you that you look gorgeous if your new hairdo would fit
perfectly for the part of the wicked witch of the west. Yet I could perhaps
state that you have been a game devil going for such a new style. You would
then have the chance to tell me; “heavens above the hairdresser got totally the
wrong end of the handle in understanding what I meant by a change!” My words
have paved the way for me to be empathetic with you. I am forty-seven and
slowly but surely learning to speak!
What happens though when I have a passion for a cause and it is opposing
your opinion? Do I bite my tongue, swallow my words or just keep my lips shut
tight? Or am I able from my life experience to find the means to show you my
view, by giving you a platform to retain your integrity and still know my
stand. If I am able to do this I help lay the ground for a new course of
action, that could be taken by both parties, to forming a deeper connection to
achieving a productive outcome.
That is what I feel is the magical essence of words used in the art of
constructive placement. It is like weaving a tale or painting a picture that
allows the listener or viewer to still feel I am honouring the true essence of
the person residing within them. I may not find them right, polite,
compassionate or even pleasant yet I have been brought into contact with this
person for a reason. It would be a shame to misuse this opportunity, by myself
being cruel or unkind with my statements. I might never get the chance again to
express my true feelings in such a way that could cause a profound chance for
just one human being let alone maybe more.
Though I will not back down from my sense of right or wrong. I will
share with you my truth, which could be off the mark to yours. I will formulate
and place my words loving together honouring my traditions, those of the land I
live in and how I see the story to be told. For in telling you my view I am
obliged to hear yours. You to will have the chance to formulate your words. I
will listen too.
In speaking two languages in my daily life I have continuously the
opportunity for a lot of “slip ups” as the usage of the English terms and those
of the Germanic grammar is bound, as is with any language, to their own
individual history, culture and humour. These are oceans apart.
Misunderstands can become commonplace if you refuse to place yourself in the
others shoes and walk several miles in them. I have found that when I am taken
out of context, the best reaction is immediate recertification otherwise the
repercussions can be never ending. Better to clear the ground before continuing
to sink more and more into the mud as my words create a continuous suction
downwards.
Often I think if I could just bloody well say my mind and not give a fig
what you thought and still get out of bed the next morning and greet you with a
half lop sided smile and you would hug me back because you understood me to the
tee then life would be grand indeed! I would thank god I am not the only weirdo
on this planet cause at least I would be accepted for the person I am – me.
Reality is different. One person’s sense of fun is another’s horror. One term
that seems so harmless is for another profanity. Therefore I may still slip up
at times by just saying it is so yet I intend no offence, I just wanted you to
know it is how I see it while sitting up here on my fence.
Your Korus