Tuesday, 26 November 2013

go with the flow of change

You probably know of the three little monkeys showing "no see, no hear, no speak" right? Well this little fellow reminded me more of the one who was mindful and content within the moment. Sitting above in a place with a view, eating his grapes. I felt he was glad to hear what I had to reflect upon as I took a place at his feet and whispered my thoughts on change:

“Have you ever given thought to what you see as being a part of you, interacting with your being physically as well as on the levels of feelings and emotions and then becoming a part of more than the one? The argons (small molecules within the composition of air) within the air we breathe are taken into your lungs and then breathed out. These are then taken in by another pair of lungs and released. These particles are never lost but flow through and around us, within the animals that live with us and on the planet upon which we co-exist.

If we breath in with gratitude these small particles and release them with love, will not these argons then be imprinted with these feelings and emotions, which in turn will flow through the next whom breathes them in?

Just like one drop of water makes up the expanse we call the ocean, so does one action of gratitude spread, to become an excepted attitude.

This is what is meant by be the change you want to see in the world around you - begin it within yourself and it will spread.”


Sunday, 24 November 2013

the child in you

Do you let the child in you out to embrace the day or is she/he held in tightly, told to not make a peep or perhaps only appearing when you think no one is watching?

Here are a few of my “child in me” things that I do when the moment grabs me: Singing in the rain, jumping in puddles, catching raindrops upon the tip of my tongue or just standing quiet still and breathing in deeply, thanking the rain gods for their nourishing gift. Skipping through the autumn leaves, watching them swirl and laughing or blowing soap bubbles in the wind when the air is stormy until my lungs almost burst. Hugging trees in the forest and whispering how much I love them for giving me air to breath while wondering at the same time if they would carry my secrets to the goblins living within and weave a little bit of magic around my day or lying on my back in the snow, waving my arms about to create a snow angel to see how deep the pattern can go.

I am outwardly a grown woman (for some probably an old one at that) but inside a part of me has remained a wide eyed youngling who believes in fairies, angels and that wishes can come true if they are given out with a loving heart. Or is it something more that plays a role here? Does doing these actions make me look with other eyes at what happens around me? Or am I allowing a part of me, my child in me that only knows good, guide my steps?

I believe that when we loose the ability to love ourselves, which happens around the time we are told “you’re a bad girl for saying that” or “you’re a bad boy for doing that” by our parents or educational teachers, we give up the right to acknowledge that being a child is good. That we are beings filled with love to give and embrace. We begin to strive for what is considered by society right, correct or grown-up and the moments of pure joy for this wonderful gift we have been given: our life; get shoved under the carpet and trodden upon. Later as we go through the various stages of aging and developing we doubt and criticize ourselves until it becomes part of our self-evaluation pattern. Then when we enter the work force, begin to join social clubs and undertake new hobbies we take on “others” standards or values along with those of our own up bringing traits. Our childish ways are strongly encouraged to be left by the way side. We are told to leave our childish ways behind. In many cases banished for eternity. 

The little girl or boy with the wide, eyed wonder at the beauty within life sometimes peeks out at the most unexpected moments though and I love seeing these flashes within others. These are the times when the magic of living is really seen. These are healing moments. These are “precious pearls” upon the string of our life’s necklace. They are what give the day a shine and give me hope for humanities future.

Last night as I was washing up waiting on our guests to leave, such a moment occurred and moved me deeply. A grown man got up from his table and came back to the area I was working in (a closed section) and asked if he could say hello to my dog whom was lying by my feet watching me work. As I said yes he sat down on the ground, reaching out and said more to Pokie than me; “my dog passed away ten days ago and I just wanted to say hello”. I spoke gently over the two of them of how we chose our “boy” and this allowed this man to stroke and kiss and be loved in return by Pokie, without feeling watched. The ache in this mans heart was seen in his words and actions of the boy in him and Pokie was a “healing whisper” that brought a little boy an immense amount of comfort. Then the man stood up becoming again the adult in a suit but with a softer expression and went back to his friends.
The moment was fleeting. When the child shows her/himself it is. But the impact is always uplifting, lighting the space of time, and showering it with pure joy. The gestures, words and body stance of this man showed a boy whom knew the value of friendship and bonding. He needed to be able to let this out without retribution or judgment. The man would not allow such gentleness to emerge to heal but the child within could.

We are what we think and our world is created by our thoughts. So many people are frightened by this statement because they worry about how often their "bad adult" thoughts might have settled in and taken root. Yet it is actually an extremely uplifting, positive statement for we can in any moment we live, change our direction and thought process. Filling it with such positive power that the energy overrules all negativity.  The thoughts of our inner child are filled with possibilities; love and a passion for being truly within the single moment you are living. Empower yourself now let your child slip out more often and change your world then the world will rise above that which it is now, to a higher level and you along with it. To a level where children’s laughter fills the room and your heart opens.

The child within us holds the smallest of keys to opening a doorway into a treasure chest of wonders. Her giggle is infectious. His smile is enticing. The spring in her step is catching. He loves to hug. She sees the world through eyes not yet damaged.  Embrace the child within as often as you can. Feel the love of a heart that never questions the art of giving for before you where told what to think, say and do you only ever knew the art of loving the child in you!


Saturday, 23 November 2013


Reading the signs is something I do all the time. Actually even as a wee poppet when I would sing; "Red sky in the morning shepherds warning, red sky at night shepherds delight,” watching the sky for signs within the sunrise or set, of what was to occur. Or as in recently when I saw written on a padlock in large letters the word LOVE and felt I was being reminded that one thing and one thing alone can break your chains and set you free. Often these small "messages" come just at the right moment for me then to take a positive new turn on my pathway of life. They help me unlock perhaps an unknown truth that has been buried deep down within my soul, lost to me yet also a part of who I am. Small impulses that help me be aware, of how I am living now.

Right now I can hear you thinking silly nonsense this “hocus-pocus” she’s going on about; reading signs. Signs from some fairy godmother I suppose. Bet she is going to start to tell me if I do this or that, a magic wand will appear and whippy soupy I will be able to give up smoking just like that and suddenly also be ten years will drop off my face. Actual no that is not my intention but if by the way I took a photo of you now and could also produce one of the non-smoking person you would have looked look like today, if you drank three litres of water a day instead of three packets of cigarettes; believe me, you would want to give up. The signs on your face would be enough to tell you why and that is what I actually want to talk about.  Signs.

What are these sometimes mystical, sometimes religious, sometimes superstitious symbols, words, happenings or just plain split second moments that seem to make no sense until they suddenly go through the quantum physics spectrum and become clear to you.

I see signs around me in my daily life without even having to search. Signs are within words, in music, amongst the nature, in people’s reactions to me, or deep within my gut I feel as an intuitive tingle by an event. I actually live at times even unconsciously by them, such as in saying, “bless you” which is literally a part of my nature because I am unaware that I have been practicing them for so long.  I remember being told the tale of the Black Plague in history class and that the dreaded first “sign” of coming down with the deadly illness, was a sneeze.  It scared the willies out of me with my imaginative nine years of age. I was more than once told my imagination needed to be “caged in” (Hansel and Gretel in full force here) as my fantasizing was apparently always running rapid. So naturally when someone sneezed near me, I saw in my minds eye something unknown and deadly lurking near by. Could the pest from the black ages still be creeping around here now, in our times? Hence I would say “bless you” and with wide eyed amazement, watch to see when the person concerned would break out in boils, telling me their days where numbered. They had the “sign” so now I only had to wait for the worst. Honestly at times a heavy load indeed, for a young soul to wrestle with.

So then coupled upon my schooling years came my strict religious upbringing; my Maori roots (a dangerous side stepping act indeed here) that held fables abounding and not to be forgotten my Australian heritage (mothers side) flowing in my ears during the summer holiday breaks. How is one to grow up with large feet and not step on the cracks of the pavement? Especially when you know something terrible might happen to you as a result of your misplacing your oversized clobbers not exactly between the lines? Then having to wonder when that terrible thing is about to pounce! Or being told your finger will fall off if you pick your nose one more time? Then watching fascinated as your cousin picked his nose knowing it was a “sign” he would soon being loosing a digit. Or seeing a black cat cut across you from the left side of the street as you are riding your bike home and trying to remember if that means you will have a safe journey or get a flat tire instead and almost run over the cat!

Now here I am in Germany and am dosed with their fables and myths on top of my own. Traditions abound here and signs are known as part of their culture. If a certain plant shots up before Easter in the forest floor then it will be a good crop this year.  Or if an engaged couple sweep together away thousands of broken splinters from smashed plates, even toilet bowls from the front of their house, which were willing thrown there during their engagement party; they have then the foundation to withstand together all turbulence that could come their way in the future. Signs placed into action in various ways but all holding a meaning of their own.

Each and every nation has its traditions, myths and fables and these are all woven together with various “signs”.  How much attention should I be paying them anyway? There are just as many answers out there in the universe to this “simple” question as there are further queries that come up from the answers. Naturally in this brief intro to signs within our daily lives, it is not possible to give an all encompassing conclusion to reading them right but I want to give you is some food for thought. On one particular sign that in this moment of time; I am being confronted with continuously.

Whether you turn on the radio, television or open your printed matter today to read, we are being over dosed with one particular saying in all the forms of advertising; “If you do not know of the right gift to give this Christmas, then let us be of help, give us your trust and we will choose for you the perfect item.” What has this to do with reading the signs you ask? Oh sadly a whole lot!

It is a very strong statement showing us the sign of the times we are in. We have been so conditioned to giving up our responsibility for ourselves, to others, to take care of, be it in the form of political, economical, educational, religious or environmental areas that already we do not bulk at the thought of having individual choice, for giving gifts, being also taken care of by another party. It shows for me the sign that we as humans are crying out for a nourishing, individual attention that is missing in our daily interrelations with our family and friends. We are being made to believe through the media that the connection between “feeling and or knowing” what can be given is not possible, without a commercial guiding hand.   That one hand gives while the other takes your money, is loving packaged for you,  that it is not so obvious what is actually happening here. We have lost our natural alibility to read for ourselves the signs!

The sign unconsciously stated here is also that we actually are lead to believe we have lost or are unconnected to understanding what a gift is. It reveals our having stepped away from walking with our inner instinct and its embracing, nourishing presence to needing to be feed what we should feel. It takes the self-practice of reflecting upon what we are able to provide, away from us. As if we are not capable any more, of this action.

This statement that is being widely used this Christmas season makes me ache. It shows clearly we have stepped away from the essence of the Advent season.  For many people it is a very special Christian religious celebration time when a gift was given that meant they would never be without. For others it holds a reminder of times passing and re-enforces the strong need to draw family and friends together, if only once a year, to share in the gift of love.  While for some it is a time to ponder upon what we have accomplished this year past, as it draws to an end and plan how we can give of ourselves in the New Year within our jobs, neighbourhood or friend and family circles.

Within each of us is a small voice that whispers to you when choosing a present. It is your personal “sign” when you have chosen the right gift to give. Let me give you an example. It is when you hear while driving home from work, on a radio talk show that the homeless shelter needs helpers over Christmas in the soup kitchen then later as you sit down to eat supper that evening one of your teenage children says; “I would really like to give my time as a gift this Christmas. Do you have any ideas?” and you know exactly why you heard that particular radio segment before – it was a “sign” and you are able to help. These small signals are all around us, all the time. We just need to become aware of them. Open our hearts, our ears and our eyes to what is being given to us as “signs” so as to give, to love and be more present within the moment in which we stand.

Oh and please remember there is only one person and one person alone whom knows what they are able to give. Let no one ever take that away from you. It is your own personal “sign” for others to see how you shine! Be it a physical item or your time each gift holds a sign from the giver to the receiver what they really where thinking when choosing the gift – do not lose the chance to show how you really feel. That is the most important sign of all.


Saturday, 9 November 2013

clearing out

At the moment I am clearing out things left, right and centre.  I have this inner desire to find new places for items that I have not held in my hand once over the last few years. Books, DVD’s, CD´s, clothing items, furniture, fun jewellery and even shoes which have been worn so little due to them pinching on my small toes, making my walk look more like daisy duck than an elegant swan! I often have this “not using it, lose it” desire around the Advent time when my local church sends out a call for their Christmas bazaar "used items" stand. Though this has not been the only direction from which I received my push this time round.

I have on my mind more the "looking and inspecting" what is the point of my life, why am I here and if there is a reason to keep on going, in the direction I have been going. Sounds like large, mind-blowing statements when written down. Yet they are only really the wrapping paper to appreciating this gift we have been given – life and acknowledging the expression of it, within a single day. There is always a time for "clearing out" the cobwebs that cover your thinking to stepping into being present within this moment.

The moving out of my daughter was the last pebble to be dropped into a stream of thoughts already flowing with a deep thirst to be present in everything I do, in the single space of time within a day. For her experience in taking on new ground, is a reminder that nothing every stays the same. Upon opening my eyes in the morning, the first gift of sight is embraced and I look out to see a day, I will only ever view this once, like it is now, in my lifetime. Today. Nothing will repeat itself in the same way even if I am allowed to experience tomorrow and it will not present itself today as it did yesterday either. We assume what we see, to be of a set colour, pattern or form. This is not true. Each colour assumes a different shade depending upon the light given or withheld from reflecting through, down or within it. Each pattern has outside elements that create a change of form, unique just to itself within the moment. No cloud is ever the same. Wind, heat or moisture plays a role in the formation of its final outline. The weather alone is changing in its beauty of expressing itself in an intertwined dance with Mother Nature, continuously.

I to am not the person I was when I arrived here in Europe twenty-six years ago. I have been influenced by both my past in all its expressive forms. I have developed and am continuing to do so by working in becoming more streamlined in my awareness, so as to be more present. I have definitely gone from someone who collected tangible items around her, to wanting to collect now the non-tangible moments. Those spaces within time that can only be truly appreciated, when we are really seeing, hearing, listening, centred within our hearts. The eyes see the need in front of me. My hands take action to give with a heart of gratitude that I am able to. I listen and hear what is really needed. This is the road I wish to walk more closely upon. It takes place though a shift inside of us, to being able to release willing and not hold on to what only blocks our next step forward for we feel we have the right to retaining what we say was earned. Earned is only the right to be within this moment.

My clearing out of closets or cupboards, in my household and within that of my mind has meant I have found places already, for items long not needed. New wearers for clothing once treasured but now not used.  Open spaces within the corridors of my shelves of values, for pondering upon the need to remain holding onto this or that thought process. It allows me to be in a place of gratitude and awareness for one gift I was given without any strings attached. Requiring nothing more from me than to unwrap the covering with a single breath and begin exploring all the possibilities it holds within it. I wish to collect the sunbeams of life to warm me within when the going gets tough in periods of bleakness.

I have the outside world bombarding me with what it says I need in the form of items, degrees and achievements to be worked towards even if they are back breaking. And what is the purpose? Does this pressure of needing more satisfy the thirst for being here, fully present within the rustle of the autumn leaves, the explosion of a evening sunset or the laughter of a small child? Do societies stepping-stones to a society level of acceptance embrace me when I ache instead from loneliness or are ravaged my a terminal illness? Does a new item replace the need to be seen?

Reducing my life to "single tasking" requires accepting I need to be nothing more than here - breathing, loving and caring. Clearing my way for space to be present. That is a gift I am learning to open and really treasure.


Wednesday, 6 November 2013

multitasking tastes like Sh..

There are several dirty words that I was always told to withhold from my speech as I was growing up. My Nana would give me "stand-ins" to use instead. They became so ingrained in my vocabulary, that I even use them automatically today when getting “up tight“. Like instead of shit I say "raspberries" or “sugar“. All forms of religious terms where forbidden to swear with, so instead of "my God" I say "pickles" or “holy cows”. Then when feeling fully fed up with the world and my load, “bullish..”  was never substituted with the “F” word but rather “poppy cock”. For a 60´s born chick actually very “hard hitting” and rather reggae too.

Now there is for me a new dirty word that I have to deal with. It is a term that was funnily enough first coined in the year of my birth. Though it was not really used by the general public until computers made it into every ones domain hence the term became world widely known. Suddenly it was a household name and we all had to deal with its implication in our lives. It is "Multitasking". A right nasty, two-timer killer.

It was coined to explain to us what was going on in the circuitry of the computers system. Multiple tasks, overlapping and drawing out interwoven answers simultaneously; for then another task to take over or begin a new line of process; in an electronic world. For the analytical thought flow, super. A machine has a system of working upon various levels to create a whole and complete picture at the end. Or lets take the car as an example. You climb in, sit down behind the wheel and turn the key in the ignition, which sets multitasking in action, on various levels; then you hit the gas pedal and so another process takes off. Great for computers or cars this multitasking build up but definitely not, for the human system. So when did it slid into our blood stream?

Did it happen when we began to answer the telephone in the office and type a response into the computer per e-mail? This action was no longer a delayed reaction but one of instant gratification. You have a task to do and while being informed of what it is, you are re-acting towards it by giving the instant solution. If it turns out wrong then “tough titties” just have a back up ready to fax!

All of a sudden work was going into the home front and the businessman was asking of his wife why she could not “hold things together” at home like he had to when multitasking in the office? The wife was aghast at the ignorance of the male and stated “she had been doing multitasking” from the day she joined in matrimony with him. It was just part and parcel of being a wife and later a mother and it is what binds the world together only “we don’t make a dance about it, we just do it, it’s in our genes!” This was the start of its taking on a dirty form – it was beginning to be ingrained in us.

We have placed ourselves in a situation making “multitasking” good, even very good and single tasking is slack, slow and stupid – the three “sss´s” get hissed out in disgust by frustrated, overworked men and woman in all works of life. Sadly even children now buckle under the term “multitasking to stardom” - the need to have three languages ready to roll off their tongues, at least one musical instrument completed and only “A´s” shining on their school reports all within their first year of primary school. “Johnny how do you do it?” “Why Mrs Mackenzie my mind multitasks. I was re-wired on the birthing table to be more than my parents created!”

Nature doesn’t "multi-task" it just gets down to business of bringing you one thing at a time, one after another. First the sunshine then the wind, then rain upon which comes perhaps hail that is followed by a storm. A precise plan with exact steps to be followed that is "Natures way".  As far as I still know the apple seed first needs to grow into an apple tree before you can bake the pie right?

This expression honestly needs badly a make over or perhaps it should be erased from our mindset altogether. It tastes like something decaying in my mouth. It has joined with those forbidden dirty words I had to find replacements for in my youth but with a whole new set of modern rules. Now I do not have today the support of my Nana so I will need to think of my own reaction to something I feel we are all “suffering” under in various ways. It shows its twisted wiring in our lives by kids having burn out before high school and asking themselves if it is worth going on. When mothers feel failures because they are getting out of the car with one slipper on the left foot and a sneaker on the right after having not had time to think about what they are doing before driving to the grocery store to buy ingredients to bake seven pies for the local church bazaar while applying make-up at the traffic light, wiping the baby’s nose in the back of the car and answering the mobile telephone hands free, regards the part-time job they take on between midnight and six am for a catalogue company based in India. Or the person whom feels the skipping of his heart beat as he pushes himself to run further on the stationary multi-trainer while talking into the headset connected to his ears, reading the financial times and watching the television flash the latest horror stories before his eyes.

Do not drop dead multitasking for heavens sake or wait to get a handshake from the other side to help you realize that this term is a shitty substitute for life. Rather use the helping hand from the other side as a warning to finally stop with this silly nonsense. Do not multitask. It is a farce. It is robbing you of savouring the moment. It stops you from really producing your most brilliant piece of work. It shortens what you experience now by making everything a blur of indefinable images. It has a terrible after taste. Wash your mouth out with soap when you say it again. Cleanse your thought process from thinking more packed into a tiny space is good.

So what are we going to do now? Find some new terms to replace this dirty word.  Here are a few ideas:  

Say I “Single shake” – the mixing of a lot of things to create one.
Say I “Cool cruise” – pleasure tempo that lets you chill while moving.
Say I “Half speed” - movement that always allows room for improvement!

Give it a go and see what happens to your life when you switch off the computerized programming wired in your brain to multitask and take on the essence of living to embrace one thing at a time. You just might find the action rather pleasurable for a change.


Monday, 4 November 2013


Today I am thinking of pathways. The various types we walk upon in life as we go about our daily living, exploring and testing out new ways, to walk our talk. I have travelled many a various toned road, which at times has had me stumbling or crawling along to keep going. While at other times I felt like I was on ice, gliding, slip sliding forwards or sideways, which never felt nice. Or at moments like today I keep just still and watch those walking parallel to mine yet what seems to be in another time.

For today my daughter has moved out of our home to begin her own journey along a pathway miles away from that of mine.  The birthing process I live all over again as she steps away into a new direction of her own.  My daughter chose me to be her Mum for she was our love child dear. Though it was never easy or without a tear. Yet the strength of character I see in her now wants me to call out wide and clear - this is the best of the woman in me and she can reach beyond heights I can only ever dream about. For she is my love, strength and wisdom while her father’s eyes take her to lands beyond our footsteps and create new adventures bold.  Pathways, new to us all. I am but the vessel in which she was born yet in letting her go I allow her to create a tone of such beauty beyond that I have ever known. The joys of her life I will live vibrantly with her when she looks back to me from the path she now takes, with a smile. For the unseen threads of eternity will never let us go - two familiar souls travelling together along life’s map of various roads, with an untied heartbeat of love.

The pathway we travel is always of our own choice. Just sometimes we do not realise it due to all the people stepping upon our toes, trying to bring us away from it, onto their own tracks instead.  Or blocking us from moving at our speed when they cross over our way trying to gain a short cut along their path. Why you say? Perhaps they realise our footsteps create a wonderful tone, which they would rather have as their own. Yet what they oversee in their rush to go forwards is all footfalls are unique. Each and everyone has their own language to speak.

Now I let my daughter walk her way. I chose to stand back. Move aside. It is time for her to feel the stones under her feet. Or perhaps be cushioned by the soft leaves lying upon the street. Whatever may lie for her along the way I just want to whisper her way: “walk your talk along the path you chose. Be gentle. Be kind. Always remembering to be love itself to all those you leave behind.”



An ABC rhyme about learning to talk and then sadly realizing in your youth, it is not worth a penny because you’re told, it is all “poppy-cock” by your parents:

ABC from birth to youth:

A - awaiting, 
B - birth, 
C - conception,
D - development,
E - evolving,
F - forming,
G - growth,
H - head out,
I - inhale,
J - joy,
K - kisses,
L - love,
M - mother
N - naked
O - over
P - parental
Q - quests
R - reciting
S - silly
T - timeless
U - unseen
V - voluminous
W - words
X - x-rated
Y - youthful
Z –zombify (decomposing in your grave)

Your Korus

Saturday, 2 November 2013

time doesn't exist

November reminds you to focus on what is lying in your hand now. Allow it not to slip through your fingers otherwise you have nothing to hold on to. It is the second to last month of what was a time span spent within twelve months, one year or let me state it perhaps like this - your life.

The time, in which you live is calculated and marked by our society with names, months, dates, minutes and seconds. These are meant to give you the sense that you know what you are doing with it - time; when you write it up in calendars, appointment schedules or plan for holidays in the following New Year. An organized way of marking your time!

Honestly why do we bother so much with focusing on something that actually doesn’t even exist. Have you seen time knocking at your door asking if you would like to buy a few seconds? Do you see time advertising segments of time for purchasing, to extend a period of time within your life span? I have felt as if I have confronted time in a discussion about wishing to draw out a moment’s time in slow motion, when I have been having a great time. Yet then time has a way of slipping right under the doormat and making me feel as if my time is gone, when the daylight flies by at a speed I am unable to hold onto. It is all reflections of split moments that over time become closer and closer together, as I age outwardly yet inwardly remain within a set time.

So many times for me feel as if they are occurring in the present time in which I now am. My wedding day twenty-six years ago is still here with me, as if I can smell the after-shave of my Darls as he bends down to brush my cheek with his lips. The touch of the skin of my first born, as she was placed in my arms twenty-three years ago, still lingers now upon my bare breast, as I reminisce. The recalling of the moment I crossed the finisher line in 2006 at the New York marathon still gets my heart beat to race and goose bumps appear upon my skin. Small moments in times past yet still present within this moment in time, as if they were happening now.

That is the beauty of realizing that time is only our illusion we present the mind, to help convince ourselves we have a control over its flow. Once you throw this idea out of the cage you have created for it, you will have all the time in the world to being open to using it as you wish. For then you can say:

“I am present in this moment of time, to savour every second and when the time is right, I can then recall it again and again for my pure pleasure of viewing how that time was prefect just like now!”

Focus upon time in November by viewing it tenderly for its threads will become the veins for transporting the beauty of what was into another time, to be recycled to ponder upon in your own time.

Your Korus 

The Listener

The listener doesn’t need to hear For his soul is already attuned; To the sounds that encase him Like a blanket that fits, Snuggly over ...