Wednesday, 29 January 2014
The often spoken of New Year resolutions from the first of January become this months carried “will tackle and abolish” themes in the weeks which follow. We place our need for a fresh start on the beginning of each new week, if we have not been able to see it placed into action by January the second. Hence each and every January Monday is loaded down with the weight of accomplishing unsolved tasks from the week past as well as adding open-ended plans for desired achievements for the week beginning. Our resolve to achieve is high, our need even more so. For we have something to prove to ourselves. We have reached the age where we think, before speaking out therefore our resolutions are life forming, changing or moving us, into the directions we want to go. No pussy footing around here.
I find myself participating, against all good intentions, in this whirlwind rodeo drive too, by squeezing into the last week of January the promises made to myself at the beginning of the month with gusto. I am jumping onto the back of this bucking horse to hold on for life and death just so I can feel as if something was accomplished. The friend whom I wanted to see with ease during my holidays never had the free moment needed to get together until near the last day of the month. But no worries we will conquer and bring in a quick jaunt before the sun sets on January still. Or all the clothes I intended to mend loom at me from that wicker basket in my study reminding me that perhaps once I have sewed the button back on that or fixed the zipper on this I should also find a new home for the item, as I will never wear it again anyway. Or the list of names to which I write letters has all but been dwindled down to two names. So why haven’t I ticked them off? These two names were already carried over from last years list and I wonder what stops me from just getting down to writing to these friends.
I have to wonder why such small odds and ends take on such significance by me this year especially as the first month draws to an end. I am sure the visit with my girlfriend could just as easily be put into February; the clothes not mended could perhaps rather be put into the used rag collection bin or the letters never written give me the reason for making a phone call instead. So what causes my going along with the flow to stagnate here and why?
I notice that the items I do not accomplish within a short span of time are the ones to give me the most meaningful lessons for my life and the pathway upon which I am walking now. They require a bit more than just a date, action or deed. They require a little bit of blood, sweat and tears from my part for they usually involve a healing aspect, at a level, which initiates a real change. We are not always ready for that. It comes when it should not when the calendar dictates. January though had the plan to get these items done!
I went on my walk with my girlfriend this Sunday. We spent several hours out in the countryside just hiking and talking. Catching up on the mountains of odds and ends that had flowed in our lives since we had last got together six months ago. There was one major item in my life I had not shared with her when it happened. It had a very strong impact upon me in the past year. I took the time to tell her of it. It helped explain why I have changed and expanded (in a positive sense) as a person but also why I had been keeping my distance (not only from her). In sharing I noticed inside me a gentle softness. I had truly forgiven and gone beyond a horrific moment in my life. I had healed hence I realized this would allow others involved healing too. This moment in my past has been laid to rest.
I have mended the last of my clothes out of that “to be fixed” basket, in which some have been lying in there for years. I realize the hold back here was not the action of fixing something but more realizing the natural process of life, has given me another stand of acceptance to the skin in which I now live. If an item has ripped, been torn or falls apart it is not a slant on my not having thought about the product or paid enough attention to where it came from. That I have. Quite simply not everything does last forever and some items were loved dearly and worn when the children were at home but now they are not. Or they remind me of my marvellous time in Australia or another holiday destination. But now they also get me to think about how I am now happy today in my own skin. I visualize myself now being totally relaxed within the covering I wear no matter what others think, say or how they react to me and to get to this point it took time. Changes occurring inside us, through thought processes, are not always noticeable outwardly. Yet when they fit our inner structure, we outwardly often change our style. This is all that had taken place by me and so it was time to repair and pass these clothes on for other to utilize. I feel right now in my body.
Two letters that should have been written a year ago can finally be answered because I know I do not need to share more than I want to. I can inform. I can tell. I do not need to fill in the spaces for other family members, who will need to do themselves that, when the time is for them right. I have realized I have a responsibility to myself and not to patching up family tensions or disputes. It should not be that I loose contact with those I care about due to the fact I am unable to share every bit of nitty gritty. Often it is just to know when receiving a letter that you are remembered which proves to be more soothing than to be saddened by another’s woes. I share with love allowing it to repair what might be needed without forceful action.
Part of my resolution for this year was “Knowing that I will flow with the current that takes me to higher levels of understanding of who I am, why I am here and how I can allow these to evolve; for the highest good of myself and those whom I interact with”. I have been able to do that this January many times over in small but meaningful ways. It is seeing the daily moments in life as being those, which are to be valued, that is what is meant by living in the now. The acknowledging you can do this in your every day actions is experiencing life. More is not needed. February can come along when it is ready; I am too.
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
You are the light of my life.
You live within my soul.
Your home is in my heart.
Your what makes my world turn round.
With you I live every moment,
With a passion to know
Just how far you can take me -
To making me know
Paradise is here on earth
For you’re literally that from which I have come.
Your what I want to experience now.
So I can expand into a larger version
Of you when I am gone.
Monday, 20 January 2014
Sometimes I find the day just flies by. I am left wondering where did the time go and pondering for one short moment, if I actually got anything done from my mental list of things to cross off, before the first month of the new year is over.
Then I pull myself up. Why did I stop two years ago having a paper dairy I say? I wanted to give up the lists. I desired to live life in the now and not plan, for what could occur in the future or maybe not ever. I wanted to focus on the moments happening; not waste time on what could be. I sought to savour the feeling of flowing into, as well as within the day. Not running after a pre-planned, pre-determined and ridged program that left me flat, drained, non-fulfilled, as I turned off the light at night. Not wishing any more to feel cut out from the twenty-four hours of the days cycle; by binding myself to some pressurized timetable, in writing down do this, go there and complete that.
So have I at least been able to come close to putting into place the above, in what is my second year running, ops I mean flowing. Yes I think I have but the manner in which I go about it is still developing. I am continuously moving towards creating for me a more pleasurable ground upon which to tread barefoot – without my sneakers on. Today was such a success of feeling the ground beneath me.
As I dwell within my holidays, reading, writing, day dreaming, dozing; I ask myself as another day eases by, do I get really anything productive done in this "flow" of being here? Especially if I am not documenting it in an agenda where I could cross this or that off – I admit it still gives me some kind of silly inner thrill to see lines drawn through sentences of “things” I told myself needed doing.
Often we have so many wants and intended needs. These personal wishes, which we harbor inside us or share with others; focusing on and recounting them in a chant like form in our heads, can suddenly make us feel "pressurized" to produce. But I ask myself what am I to produce and if I cross an item off from a list does that mean I was productive?
Sometimes the simple fact that I was able to realize, a small aspect of life's graciousness, in being here; cloaked within that which I have given out, can have alone a monstrous effect, beyond the dollar signs ringing in the bank, if I was to "sell" it.
This morning as I taught my advanced class of Qigong Yangsheng, to connect their shoulder plate with their hip basin; as if one was to pull the strap around a suitcase for travelling and click it in; I saw a wonderful event evolving before me. All students began slowly to yawn. Deep released yawns - of pulling air in at a leisurely pace and releasing it deep and long. They seemed, from the expression upon their faces, to all about to drift off into dreamland. This was wonderful. It showed me they were totally relaxing within their own framework and allowing themselves to just wallow in the moment of living now.
I had achieved what I had set out in the lesson to do. Show them through a simple connection of the body, within a Qigong Yangsheng movement, how to create your own relaxation pool.
I had produced for my students, a moment of experiencing what the treasure is, hidden within the simple and yet complex TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) exercise.
It required no going through lists and crossing off items to establish I had “completed” what I set out to do. For that I had done in the moment of teaching. It had a very enriching feel. More is not needed today for I have achieved so much.
Just for today I had been kind to myself. I had left the pressure of demanding I complete, undertake or finish tasks I had set myself to do by a certain date, out of my equation for the day. Instead I allowed myself some breathing space to rather ask my inner child, "What would you like to do?" It had simple said “be peace”. I then reacted upon the answer. I placed that into my teaching.
Try it out yourself tomorrow. Step back for a second. Ask what do you want to create now as a finished product. Afterwards you can step forwards into the reality of timetables and schedules; with perhaps one small difference. You might find you have a new jest for action and production because just for a moment, you were actually kind to one person whom needs your loving the most ... you! Then it flowed through you to others whom benefited from it to. Underestimate not the change your set into motion when you produce the act of giving unconditionally to yourself.
Thursday, 16 January 2014
Since New Years Eve I have slept fifteen nights. I am now living in the sixteenth day of 2014. Two weeks and a bit have passed. What exactly have I been up to? Simply living my 2014 motto: less is more.
Re-learning and connecting to what is for me right and undertaking it. Or is it as simple as it sounds here on paper? Less is more. It requires a slight change in my thought process. A paper-thin redefining of the beliefs I hold and this in turn changes the way, I view my world. Seeing with clear, open eyes into ones inner make-up. This is part of the deeply held gaze, I allow myself to have; to go within my core as I step closer towards achieving less is more.
I find this occurs when you have invested a lot of time in sorting and clearing out your life.
When we are centred within our selves, loving that which we are, projecting our true desires with firm kindness to those we care deeply for, we can be heard, we do then move forward, our dreams evolve into a real form and the universe begins to bring what we need to our front door. Without a struggle or effort from us. Thus allowing us to soar up to heights yet unknown; those which have been lying quietly, waiting, just for us to reach; to explore.
We are all going through a changing of the guard at present. Between knowing and doing. Being and seeing. Wanting and having; realising and receiving; desiring and achieving. There is no right or wrong. The juxtapositions of the once clear zones have created this murky water in which so many feel washed out or devoid of their own colour. The grey zone has become a suction swamp. This crossover point has taken on a stronger hold, requiring us to look beyond; by going back to the source from which it has sprang as well as its opposite, to find some answers.
This point in which we stand, trying to push ourselves outside of our own presence is causing so many to feel lost. Once you knew the yin and yang of any situation. The place from where our breath is held before releasing that which is no longer needed and drawing in that which keeps us alive. I always viewed life to having an abundance to give and that coming up short was not even considered a possibility. So how come so many feel cut short?
Perhaps if I share how I put my motto for 2014 into action, with a small example you will understand what I mean.
Today the line between manners and rudeness never seemed so far off the scale as it is now. I was taught to stand up for my elders on the bus or underground when all sets were taken. Then came a time when you were unconsciously told if you have paid for it, you deserve to hold on to it and I saw youth slouching into the seat cover, shoes balanced on the seat in front, ignoring the world around them. Now there seems to be a rush and grab attitude when boarding public transport. Secure your place and then spread yourself over that area, laying out a claiming of territory before it is blown away. This for me is a grab more because we otherwise will have less, attitude.
I had this experience just recently on a plane flight from a group travelling together for a wedding; a religious group of mixed ages and sexes whom ignored all others bound together in this small space and made the two hour journey one where you had a bad taste in your mouth afterwards towards their affiliation. So here is exactly the perfect moment to practice my less is more motto. The plane was full. A young man from this group occupied the seat beside me. He had to move and change with someone else because he could not sit next to a woman. I was made aware we woman are not equal in the eyes of all mankind. First moment. Less is more. The woman airhostess needed to find a solution. As he would not talk either to a woman this was again a dilemma for him. I was made aware women are regarded by some as being idiots and incapable. Second moment. Less is more. They then began to shuffle other passenger’s luggage around to put in their extra bags. Not appreciated when baggage which was not their own fell out from the overhead holdings. I was made aware many feel they never have enough. Third moment. Less is more. Here within seven minutes only fifteen people where creating havoc for others while elbowing a space for themselves. I immediately felt this “we need to grab more before there is less for us” attitude. So you ask, how did I practice my motto for 2014, less is more?
I knew of their religion and its history and I could tell this attitude comes from a need to control what once they felt they could not. So I released any need I had rising in me, to control this moment. I acknowledged that I had the perfect space within this plane. I centred my thoughts on how caring the stewardess was to get her male counterpart to help. I thanked inwardly the airline for providing mixed terms to work together. I was grateful I need very little to travel with hence freeing up areas for others whom require a bit more luggage space. Within these seven minutes of me living less is more, on only three of the unbalances being created (within that murky, grey swamp space) the energy around me began to settle. A very subtle change was rippling through those just seated near me because I was taking a slightly different stand to the expected reactions of our day. This is felt. It can then change a mood or inner feeling. It can allow others to take a step out of those grey areas and find a new definition of how to react.
This does not come over night this shrift in awareness but it can become a regular part of your life. Welcome the chance to take on doing one small thing, at a time, in a different manner than you are used to.
Recently I did this while visiting my daughter. Sitting in my daughter’s apartment while all were still asleep in the early morning, I had my usual coffee but in another mug. Accept that which is not yours as also being useful.
I was about to read my magazine but in another's kitchen. Be thankful for shelter no matter where it is given.
I was in my pyjamas but wrapt up in a sleeping bag because my dressing gown was back home. Be gracious about having another’s items, to keep you warm.
I was enjoying the sounds of the city surrounding me here compared to the countryside in which I live. Be open for new experiences outside of your own four walls.
I was just doing one thing at a time different today and loving it! That is how you begin to experience less is more. Cultivate your life - take time to nourish the body, pamper the soul and embrace the thirst for knowledge. You will increase your life's quality by volumes. You will experience that less is more.
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