How do you formulate your words? Are you
aware of your self-talk? What about the words you comprise into sentences,
which inform others about your opinions or actions. Do these show us who you
really are or are they just a collection of wishful thinking statements, given
out like kisses blown into the wind but baring no weight? A kind of “catch me
if you can” motion that leaves one wondering what on earth do I even have in my
hand!
So often it is said, to speak out a
thought, is to place it into action. Your dreams are bundles of energy (your
personal life desires) and when you formulate them into words you give power to
these often simple but precise messages.
Would you wish for over and over again, the healing of your daughter’s
asthma, by stating you would give an arm and a leg for that to happen? Careful
now because it has been known to become reality more than you would realize.
Such a case occurred where the father said it whenever his daughter had an
asthma attack. Then “one day” came about and that which he so forcefully
focused upon occurred: through a car accident he got what he wished for - in a
triple pack: the loss of an arm, a leg and his daughters asthma was history!
It is not hocus locus either. The
airplane did not fall from the sky and land fully equipped to fly on a Tarmac
that was magically built to accommodate it. A person had to desire first to fly
like a bird, high up in the sky, over a great distance for this to consolidate.
This wish, this thought, needed to be dwelt upon, mulled over, find a place
deep within the cells of the brain from the heart desired emotion, to become
reality. And it did. We all benefit from this simple yet precisely laid out
wish today.
Therefore it is correct to state, “be
careful what you wish for”. If you spend every waking moment cursing your life
situation, being within a space full of hate and self loathing what do you
expect if you never have the ability to step out of the swamp. Your heart can
desire escape, for as long as it wants but if tell yourself tenfold over
through your “self-talk” the opposite, your placing a strong bet on retaining
what your stating.
Don’t believe me? Ok, how often do you
state as you see your reflection in a window, “Oh heavens above look at the
size of my thighs” or “who is the monster there?” Maybe the last time you hit
the delete button for the complete text instead of for one word only in a text,
before saving the item, you also said simultaneously to yourself “what an idiot
I always am”. When you arrived home from grocery shopping only to remember you
forgot to stop by the animal store to pick up the dog food you thought “I have
no functional brain anymore; can’t I remember anything!” Or as you practiced
with your partner the new dance steps in couple’s class you mutter “I will
never get this right I always have two left feet. I am so clumsy”. Getting the drift here?
We belittle, curse, be cruel or plain
right punish ourselves with our self-talk for what we see as faults,
shortcomings or stupidity in our own lives on a regular basis. This form of
repetitive confirmation on a specific fact is taken into our inside world, with
a very clear message to the outside influences - “this is how I see myself, so
this is what I will experience” and we will then be given more and more and
more and more of the same.
Scared now? No need to be. Actually you would assume you should be but
we have been equipped with a wonderful capability to rebound from negativity.
Otherwise we would all have very short lives, filled often with horrible
re-occurring events that would be worse than a nightmare. Rather just become
aware of what you are doing to sabotaging your own life. Begin by taking the
time to see what you are actually repeatedly banging into your heart about
yourself. There are zillions of ways you could go about this. As heaps of
self-help groups exist to “lighten your load and wallet”, loads of written
material is out there to read, up-teen-dozen organizations are available to
tell you the seven-steps to re-creating your world to get the jackpot that
awaits you or there is a guru who can have you shave your head, recite rhymes
and be another person when following in his/her footsteps within this life time
(worry about the next when you get to Nevada) but it can be simplier if you
wish.
Remember Dorothy from the children´s
story “The Wizard of Oz” and her three strange companions she encountered along
her pathway to getting herself back home?
They all had hick-ups about how they looked or were accepted or
understood. Each spent a lot of time focusing on these, as they saw, “downfalls”.
As the story evolved we were given the key to understanding how to turn a
negative into a positive. It involved a very simple truth. Takes a heck of a
lot of focus. Means you will need to look clearly at yourself. It requires you
be patient. You will have to spend time with the one person who cannot leave
them room when you enter it; you. Yet it is worth the effort.
You have to just learn to love yourself
and begin to tell the small child within that over and over and over again
without any ridicule, rules or ranting and raving. Love yourself. Stating you
are lovely just as you are now, lovingly giving yourself the space to grow into
what you desire, loving being in the moment in which you stand without
judgment. Love you. A lot who have read to here, will be shaking their heads
and saying “oh yeah I knew it would not be easy!” Why are you doing that to
yourself? Why is it not easy to love YOU? Your mother did that the moment she
saw you wrinkled and screaming just after having birthed you. I bet you did not
look a pretty picture then yet that love will hold a lifetime even if
circumstances are to tear you apart.
You can go to as many meetings or tap on
trigger points or do therapy sessions till you have talked about things that
actual never really existed if that will help you learn to tread softly along
the pathway of your life with love, compassion and faith in the person you are.
I strongly believe though each and every one of us was given this special voice
within us to help turn the negativity around. We have just forgotten that our
self-talk should be like soft feather strokes brushing against our cheek and
making us giggle. Reminding us to laugh as we stumble. Our inner voice is the
gentle loving hand that guides us away from danger and hurting ourselves, by
reminding not scolding. The unspoken words, which swirl in our head, should
uplift us to reaching heights we desire to attain.
Touch upon your inner voice by letting
it take charge for a day. Let it be love. Not what others expect or society
dictates. If you allow yourself to be loved it can love back the one person who
needs loving most - you. Begin allowing it to whisper sweet nothings into your
ear now and become whole again.
Your Koruswhisper
(For those of you whom wonder how to
start going about what I have written above; one way is to take note of what
you say repetitively to yourself i.e. "oh your stupid" and turn it
about by writing the "new self-talk" out and posting it with post its
on the mirror in your bathroom, the steering wheel of the car, the inside of
your wallet, the control to the TV or computer key board. A few main places you
spend a lot of time at. So your new way of referring to yourself when you
"stubble along your pathway" is now "oh I am learning" or
"the next time will be even better" or "I can do it now" or
"we are getting there". Then when the negative self-talk slips in,
read the uplifting comment and smile to yourself, loving the fact you are you.
It will begin a change that is tangible.)