A wedding is something that can have us
in quiet a flip wondering what to wear, then there’s the thought of a gift,
what about our participating on the evening too; should we read a poem, tell a
funny story or perhaps put together a theatre performance? Can we remember all
the names of both family sides and how is it if we don’t like the food or feel
out of place? I am sure when you are invited to a wedding there could be many
other odds and ends you wonder about. I find I have not often had the pleasure
of needing to go through this mind turmoil. I can actually count the weddings I
have attended fully (service and reception in one) on one hand including mine!
My first encounter with love and the
binding of two souls for eternity was by my Aunt and Uncles union. It was in
Australia. I was five years of age. I wore a muslin cotton, white sundress and
had a daisy chain crown in my hair. I remember I had light, lemon coloured
sandals with large plastic, yellow daises on them. What also stays as clear as
day in my mind is the white wicket basket I carried filled with real white and
yellow daises. I was the flower girl and walked in front of my favourite Aunt
scattering these blooms on the ground as she walked bare footed upon them with
her love floating around her in a halo of light. I wanted so badly too to feel
the silky petals beneath my feet. I thought this was so cool and wanted to move
like the wind and be a hippy too, as it seemed to involve being “just you”.
The second wedding I attended had me
closing our business for the first time during opening hours, on a Saturday
night, and taking along my family to be the only representatives of my brother’s
relatives at his marriage ceremony. My husband and two small children all let
me choose our outfits so I carefully sewed our daughter’s flowing, layered
dress and sons vest and flyer. We all wore vibrant cornflower blue and tones of
light smoky grey. Shadings of still waters that had a depth that went beyond
what you saw upon the surface. I was the older sister who was doing what I had
been given to do, from the moment my brother was born - from the age of seven I
was both parent and sibling to him. I chatted in my newly acquired second
language to his “new” family, gave the speech required at the reception and
felt rather chuffed at managing what I had been doing for years - being the
responsible one. It was not an event I remember with real joy from my side. It
held for me pressure and constrictions, which I dealt with but wanted not to be
really involved in.
The third wedding was of my husband’s
best friend, which was actually planned around us! With us rarely having normal
working hours, his best friend gave my Darls several dates he and his fiancé
were looking at to plan their commitment and said “ok mate on the one you both
can be with us, that is the date we will choose!” One of the dates was in our
holiday time and this was booked.
So we could not only attend a beautiful days celebration of deep love
but also stay with the wedding party overnight, in a lovely hotel and have
breakfast with the whole family the next morning. This wedding was a second
chance for both parties and was an collaboration of two sets of children
embracing the love they saw in their parents hearts and blessing it with song,
dance, laughter and their dedication to being part of both lives, by giving
their time in unity. It was a wedding that held a lot of pure, raw emotions
from knowing what it means to be loved for who you are, as you are, for what
you are. I felt as if I belonged
to a collection of souls who all spoke the same intuitive language, looking
together towards the same sunrise on the horizon.
This weekend we attended our fourth
wedding. A couple our age that have followed the restraints of study then
career to achieve all their own set levels of academic aspirations; found later
in age love, which they realized could also be part of their life plan. One
partner is from Switzerland, the other from Germany. Two different
nationalities yet both speaking the same ground tone, with differences still
clearly to be seen in their form of upbringing and societies traits. A bonding
held on a foundation of deep beliefs and traditions, which include empathy,
hope and space to be who they are, within a modern society where the backbone
need not include matrimony for which they have chosen. They have a strong
family pulling behind them for all eternity and they also have a deep respect,
for the person they have taken the hand of, to step forward as one.
So different bonds of marriage coupling,
make me reflect on my own twenty-seven years of tenderly holding, within my
hands, my partner’s desires and individual wishes, working upon our joint ventures
and not losing me in the process.
I often feel like a dinosaur lately which is partly due to the greying
hairs, realization I do not want to be mutton dressed as lamb and the fact I am
into cultivating the journey of stepping carefully upon the ground I walk upon
due to being in the now, not desiring the future to pressure in upon me. Yet
when I reflect back on these weddings, each had an aspect of my own development
as a person tucked within the folds of the various wedding gowns. Hope,
compassion, desire, love, respect, realization life is not always an ice cream
Sunday and that at times others are wanted within the framework of your life,
so to have a support system that can be uplifting.
These weddings I attended all reminded
me, we are living only in the present moment in which we stand. Unwrap the gift
that is given to you now. Wait not until you feel it has to be, because disease
forces you to tie up legalities. Think not upon traditions as being the binding
but rather as the supporting branches for you to expand your horizons. Take on
the moment as a possibility to explore a part of you not yet developed. Join in union, to support one another
and develop further who you are.
Weddings are wonderful opportunities to
embrace all the differences within each of us and often they cause havoc.
Perhaps that is the reason tears can flow so easily when you see two people
promise to love and honor one another’s soul, for at a funeral you do not have
the chance to look over into the departed eyes and state you could not do so.
Then you feel you need to give reverence to what was and what you can never
fix. A wedding is the opposite - it gives you the chance to take on the now,
the probable desired route of the future and feel hopeful.
Weddings and funerals have a single item
that is common to us all though - they are events we provide an attitude of
mannerism to. Time doesn’t wait for you so long, to think about how and when or
what if, by a funeral, like at the preparation for a wedding yet both have this
similar procedure. Invite the family, long standing friends, business
associates and perhaps an acquaintance or two for it is expected. Habitual
gestures or ways of speaking or behaving placed before the heart.
What if we treated rather our unions of
love as declarations of being present now, to create a well-being stand for the
soul, mind and bodily health within our own lives; that can then spill over
into society and perhaps even leave traces within humanity when we have gone
from this earth? Would we then embrace the essence of what we teach our young -
respect life by everyone and thing, for it is the highest gift you have been
given. Honour it. Hold it in reverence. Be more than just yourself and expand
beyond the singular into the couple, group, community intertwined. Create a wellbeing here on earth now
through wedding your thoughts to your actions to reach beyond where you stand,
to that which seems impossible then your view becomes wider than you thought
and you can then see a means to climb higher to where your dreams lie. Be the
groom of the bride within your own household. Bind love and personal integrity
with the female and male inside yourself, to celebrate the never-ending cycle
of life. Joining your heart energy to your voice, to create a hymen of
prosperity for all.
The love story of creating a new world
order could begin with a simple phase - If you could marry yourself would you
say, “I do”?
Your Koruswhispers
